Some people in Halifax say they aren’t troubled by having few or no friends, according to a study conducted by Dalhousie and St. Francis Xavier universities.
Laura Eramian, one of the authors of the research and an associate professor of sociology and social anthropology at Dalhousie, said it is commonly held in society that friendship is a major contributor to living well.
“We wanted to also ask the question of what it’s like in a moment where friendship is considered so important to be someone who doesn’t have any or many friends,” Eramian said.
The researchers interviewed 21 people in Halifax who said they have few or no friends.
Eramian said some of those interviewed expressed suffering due to being friendless, but she said it was not the only story they heard.
“What was so striking to us was how people also talked about a kind of countervailing set of meanings that they attached to being friendless,” she said. “And that was things like autonomy and self-reliance and independence.”
‘Sense of personal dignity’
Some of those interviewed said they were also able to find a “sense of personal dignity” in being friendless.
Eramian says building relationships can be a low priority for those struggling in other areas of their life.
“If people are scrambling to make ends meet, and then they say that the directive is to go out and make friends so that you feel better about your life, it isn’t necessarily helpful,” said Eramian.
“It just becomes another wellness demand that people have to grapple with.”
Michael Halpin, a Dalhousie sociology associate professor, says building friendships has also become an expense that some cannot afford.
“We might think that the solution is to just get out there and make friends, but that’s … exceptionally difficult,” said Halpin. “Going out and doing things that are social has become more expensive.”
Concerns about social isolation
Halpin warns that social isolation and loneliness can be detrimental to mental health.
“People are reporting that they feel more lonely, reporting that they feel more isolated,” Halpin said. “People in some contexts are saying that their social networks are shrinking.
“So in many ways, we do have a loneliness epidemic.”
It can be difficult for some to find value in being friendless.
“I’ve moved a lot,” said Janine McGregor, who established a book club for the Halifax Gals and Pals organization. “I’ve been lonely a lot. I’ve been that person and it’s not fun. So I like to try to help people not feel that.”
The organization hosts numerous events in the city for women and gender-diverse people to get together and socialize.
“People go to these events because they want new friends,” said McGregor. “I’ve had people say the book club is their one social event of the month and they wouldn’t miss it.”
Tris Healey is the program manager at Hal-Con and is helping facilitate a speed-friending event this Friday that is usually attended by 60 to 80 people.
Healey said the annual event encourages attendees to socialize with new, like-minded people.
“There are a lot of people coming in the geek community who may be struggling with what society sees as the standard way to kind of make friends and communicate,” said Healey. “It becomes a welcoming place in that sense.”
